I don’t know how many of you that read this “vape”.. but we are in serious trouble…
CASAA Logo_100px

Petition Your Legislator NOW to Support HR 2058!

Help save the U.S. vapor industry from

being decimated by improper regulations by the FDA!

The FDA Deeming Authority Clarification Act of 2015 (HR 2058), introduced by Representative Tom Cole of Oklahoma, would save the U.S. vapor industry from being decimated by improper regulations by the FDA. This bill would amend the Food, Drug, and Cosmetics Act to change the predicate date for “deemed tobacco products.” This change would allow for all vapor products currently on the market to remain on the market without being subject to the burdensome (read: prohibitive) pre-market FDA approval application process.

The government is trying to place strict rules on vapes, their flavors, and business selling these products.

In New Jersey, this  explains the bill they are trying to pass.

I’m not sure what’s going on in other states, but it can’t be good..  The above group, CASAA, (Consumer Advocates for Smoke-free Alternatives Association) are working hard to stop, postpone and/or change the bill.  However, they need your help!

truth is freedom(click above to visit their Facebook page)

Many people have misconstrued opinions on vaping:

  • It’s promoting kids to smoke because of their wide variety of flavors
  • The “e-juice” is harmful
  • Vaping around others is dangerous
  • The vapes themselves explode and or catch fire

…and probably other things.

In reality, vaping is perfectly safe (when used properly) and the flavors DO NOT cater to kids- rather adults that don’t want to smell or taste smoke!   E-juice is made from food grade material available to the public and may even be available without nicotine.   Also, unlike cigarettes, there is no such thing as “second-hand smoke”, just water vapor- which you may smell sometimes, but is harmless!  As far as the devices being dangerous, that comes from people misusing them and making their own improperly.

Click here for the TRUTH about vaping!

My Personal Experience

I’m not exactly sure when I started vaping, probably around 2001 or so.  Prior to that I got bronchitis  Every Single Year that I smoked.  Since I quit, guess what?  I only got sick when I was at a concert which banned the use of vaping, yet had an enormous smoking section!

Unfortunately, when I drink I need to smoke vape.. so without my vape I resorted to cigs and got very sick..  If that’s not proof, I don’t know what is!

Now, I gradually reduce the amount of nicotine in my e-juice but will probably still vape with zero because I just like it and it keeps me away from evil cigs.

So, now that Big Tobaccohandgun wants to regulate, limit and/or ban vaping, we won’t have the same options.

This is truly a nightmare and a perfect example of corruption between government and the tobacco industry.  corupt

We need to ban together and stop Big Brother from telling us what to do!


That’s all for now..





(Preemptive: I may have borrowed this and/or some of the prose… I found it in an unmarked conversation in which I wasn’t sure if I was the writer or the recipient… I changed so much of it, that it barely matters… My apologies to whomever I borrowed words.. I feel I adapted enough of it to my own.. you were just an inspiration… Thank you though…)


I live in a time and place-
Where little nothing’s mean everything,
and your everything is my tomorrow,
your kisses are words,
my mouth your ears.
Our voices just silhouettes in silence.
In this place,
you mean more than nothing to me.

I lived in a time and place-
where time once stood still.
Looks were blind,
touch was pain,
and in this place-
you were lost to me.
I couldn’t see past my void.
You were my blind pain, 
and I meant more than nothing to you,

You lived in a time and place-
Where your soft, caring eyes,
your confident voice,
your creative soul,
and unbridled passion
were masked just
under the weight of your own fear.
Your brilliance,
just hidden.
Naïve ignorance-
purely unjustified,
because you were missing my nothing.

I lived in a time and place-
where my simples lyrics,
beautiful sighs,
and naked body,
were looking to fill a void
Trying with trysts that were
despicable and despised
Hate was the new love.
Unknowingly, blindly,
still missing your nothing.


We live in a time and place-
where beauty is in the eye
of the beholder,
but everyone is blind.
We don’t see ourselves
through our own eyes.
They say-
An eye for an eye,
leaves us all blind,
yet that’s not the case.
I see you,
and you see me.

We live in this time and place-
where backwards became forwards.
Our tears once formed rivers,
waterfalls, and filled lakes.
Now, the sun only comes out at night,
where libations break down walls,
only to build them up again,
then down,
and up.
Callouses forming each time.

I live in a time and place-
where you and I now
share the same space.
Take all the past,
throw it away.
Start our new path,
and make every day okay.
Better yet,
make the future,
our future,
perfect for you and me.
I’ll love you forever
as long as you forgive me forever.

Procrastination Nation – I’ll get there… eventually…

Procrastination… Something I’m far too good at… As a matter of fact, I’m doing it right now!  I’m supposed to be getting ready to go out with my beastie…  Instead, I’m writing to you.

I’ll probably be late…


(If this were true I’d be a size zero…)

I don’t know why… just has always been my downfall… I work better under pressure – or just don’t do things… I’d probably be a renowned writera teachera famous artist or photographeranything but an unemployed, permanently injured, wannabe writer/artist who hasn’t worked since 2011… ( that probably has something to do with it )


Without a job I have no time table- no structure, and I rarely know what day – or even month – it is… I wrote the year 2004 on something recently!  (that was a great year…)  If it weren’t for doctor appointments and my fiance’s work schedule I’d be useless.

When I stopped working I thought I’d start the novel I have tucked away in my lazy brain.. that never even pretended to start… this [blog] is helping though…

Ok- I seriously have to go…

I suck at time…


Here again… A Love Story

Well, seems I write my best late at night, when everything is still & quiet..

So- I’m going to tell you a story.  It’s not a story that pertains to my current life – not really something I particularly dwell on – just something I saw on TV that made me think about it.

Once upon a time – as all great stories go – there was a was a man and a woman… destined? I’m not sure – love – I’m completely sure.  Not at ALL like the love I have now… The love I have now is pure and true..  But the love back then was younger, a little more stupid, a little more unpredictable, and clearly – not meant to be.  ::spoiler alert::  He didn’t make it… at all…

As the song goes – “I’ll start from the very beginning, a very good place to start…”

I was 18 – young, dumb and full of myself… He was 24, young, and full of HIMself… but not dumb… in fact he was so worldly and knowledgeable and I think that is what drew me in.

We met at a seedy bar – Kareoke Night – he was hanging out with the DJ – I thought he worked there… I got up and drunkenly sang “Closer” by NIN (I LOVE NIN)

Afterwards, I plopped back at my table – half embarrassed, half exhilarated… half hysterical… then I feel a tap on my shoulder – (I feel like I should tell you what I looked like – 5’10”, l 60,  short pixy cut hair, pierced lip, 5-6 holes in my ears, wide leg jeans, and a tank top… It was the 90’s, I was trying to pull off this punk rock /raver/ goth thing… He was just in jeans and a yellow shirt – BUT he also had a pierced lip…)

So after the tap on my shoulder all he said was “I like that thing in your lip…” Stumbling and flabbergasted and tripping over my Words – all I could say was “I like that thing in YOUR lip…” Him: “I can’t believe you just sang that”  Me: “Yeah, well, I’m a little drunk…”  giggled… blushed… and that was it… We exchanged numbers – talked on the phone every night – found out he owned a record shop (How Awesome?) and after a few dates, that’s where we spent the majority of the time.

Now- the rest of the story is blurry.. He loved, and I loved- he despised – I followed like a puppy who just tinkled on the carpet.   We danced- broke up- got back together – I got him the most thoughtful gifts – He got me wilted flowers and pregnant a day late after Valentine Day, I gave all I could… it wasn’t good enough.

After We broke up – in a diner – left we with the check – so I dumped food & cigarettes all over his car…. THEN –  My so – called – best- friend took up my sloppy seconds.

Now- I don’t know EXACTLY what happened next… Just that I found out he Killed Himself- found out while I was in the parking lot of a hotel in which we made love and debochory.

That night I saw him and wished he were dead… words I will never utter again.

He Was a talented, beautiful, smart waste of life.  Not a day goes by that I don’t miss him or wonder what or where he’d be right now..

Point of story; suicide is NEVER the answer…  You leave behind to many broken hearts and unanswered questions… I’ve thought about it… then I think of him – and all the mess I’d leave behind… including, most importantly, my soon to be husband, my cat & my family and friends.

You may feel alone- but you’re NOT!  Yoh will leave an unattainable, empty hole SOMEWHERE…

He may not have been my greatest love- but he was my first – and I see him everywhere… My Adonis.

Back to Life.. Back to Insomnia

Ugg… My sleep schedule is so messed up!

I had the worst night’s sleep… Had Insomnia last night, slept until about 4pm TODAY… figured I’d just “Addie up” and stay up… again all night.

I have stuff to do do tomorrow/today anyway… so I’ll just stay and get an early start… I actually just started laundry… I prefer doing stuff at night anyway… it’s quiet and no one is bothering me…

If you’re in my club- listen to this:

Velvet Knife


Drowning in his words.
Dying from his touch.
Slicing my Love
with his velvet knife.
Invading my fruit
like a life bearing demon.

And then he’s gone.

Tiny movements touch my heart,
my stomach all in knots.
Mourning with bile.
Not from loss but from life.
Craving things I’ve never known.
Crying things no one understands.

And from the darkness.

My Savior armed with a smile
and a tear.
Angry and confused,
both of us ashamed.
Questions answered
over a plastic cup of antibodies.

And I’m alone again.

Sprawled out on a magic table.
Two carcasses of Love
Suffering from different kinds of pain.
Counting backwards into the fog.
Then she was gone from me
with a velvet knife.
My gift of life just a memory of love

Collide into You

The universe
blew us as far apart as possible
only to bring us back together

The universe
expanding and contracting
just like our love

Little did we know
everything we went through
happened the same way

Years have passed
but not a single minute
one look and I was back.

I always knew we were epic
but had no idea
how much I missed you.

So much hurt and hate
dissolved with one smile
one laugh and I forgot.

How do you do this
to me you’re still a mystery
yet familiar and home.

All I need now
is a kiss to seal it
to make sure I’m not crazy.

Maybe I am
which means so are you
crazy in me.