Angry… and There’s Little I Can Do About It!

Angry… and There’s Little I Can Do About It!

Ok… SOOOOO… kind of a lot is going on right now..

ALOT


Not just in MY world.. that kind of thinking is very egocentric.

The world in general feels very angsty.

ANGSTY


However… these are MY ramblings so I shall air my grievances.

Gz1J1LA


First of all, you should know that I am generally a positive, kind, generous, understanding, and forgiving person… for the most part.

To actually get me truly angry isn’t easy.  My main triggers are; selfishness, cruelty, being disrespectful, unnecessary greed, and overall lack of compassion.

I tend to aggressively avoid people and situations that get me triggered.

warning


Regardless… people happen.

I don’t feel comfortable explaining the back story here.  It’s pretty personal.. not just to myself but to a family who is grieving.

Anyway… two people really upset me.

The first being someone who is in a compromised emotional state, therefore I felt guilty being angry with her.

This guilt quickly dissipated the more she contacted me.

anger merter


I feel like I pretty much kept my cool…

Until….  I spoke to, what I thought would be, a calming person.

Ha!

Nope!

This newt person in my life just contributed to said anger rising!


I felt dejected.

Rainbow_Dash_dejected_S4E04


Alone.

ALONE


Broken down.

BROKEN DOWN


Stupid.

STUPID


Worthless.

WORTHLESS


 

Worst of all… I felt wrong… and wronged!!   Like MY emotions had no value.   As if one of the people I count on the most in life just abandoned me.

That, my friends, is an epicly awful feeling…

ABANDONED


 

I wish I could explain specifics..

Maybe at a later time.

Anyway…  this all happened yesterday.

I slept on it.

I feel less shitty.

My wonderful boyfriend helped me put things into perspective.


emo v logic sign

I tend to think with emotions rather than logic. 

emo v logic scale


 

I’m fairly confident that things will pan out.

sucsess


 

If not…

…oh well?


 

Later Bitches!

KATTNESS

Kattness

 

Advertisements

Love Story

Love Story

There are so very many amazing love stories out there… right though?!



I have to say MY personal favorite is Nicholas Spark’s, The Notebook.


I often identify with Olive.. or Emma Stone in general..


(side note.. LOVE this movie..)


ANYWAY… I know it’s so cliché


However, something just resonates with me.

…maybe because I’m afraid of Altzheimer’s?


…maybe because my memory already sucks?

(I keep the best secrets though!)


…maybe I see so much of myself in Allie…?

(I’m pretty sure I’m not as stuck up…)


…and maybe I see so much of my ACTUAL love in Noah!!

…it’s kinda true.


Ok… So it’s no secret that I LOVE tangents.. side notes and etceteras..


I just got off the phone with my man..

(LOVE him!! ..also love that he calls me on ALL his breaks.. )


So, anyway.. we were talking about his job.. (construction.. and not in the BEST area.. clearly.. lol..  🙄) ..and he tells me a short lil’ story about people breaking into the site at night and stuff..

SPECIFICALLY a hooker.

Then he used an amazing word..


(I don’t know if you know this about me.. but I LOVE a good word!)


Ratchety


That’s how he described the hooker..

(Some hookers really don’t do their job well..)

…I almost died from love. Both of him.. AND his descriptive.


I actually can not even think of a better way to end this random thought.


Light & Love!

Kattness 💖

I’m Kinda at a Loss…

I’m Kinda at a Loss…

I want to write something meaningful, BUT…

There are mainly three things on my mind on a regular basis… ok, FOUR really… but two are a combo.

1.) My boyfriend/Love of my Life

a.) Spending Time with him

b.) Making Love to Him

2.) My Adorable, Fun & Endlessly Entertaining Cat

3.) Food… all of it.


That’s SUCH an understatement!!!

My mind is in a perpetual whirlwind of questions, longing, pondering, imaginary scenarios and day dreams.

However, the “Main Three” are usually the basis of such mind trees and mental tangents.


It’s actually kinda rough.

Sounds awful, right?!


…but seriously, I’m basically in a constant state of wonder, curiosity and intrigue.

It’s like being a cat on acid…

…which is probably pretty close to being a human on acid…

soooo idfk.. just that I’m NOT on acid… I just think too much.


The END



Light & Love

Undone Perfection

Undone Perfection


My darling…
If I call you sweetheart under my breath,


If brush your face with my touch of my kind of love,


If I gaze unto you with the kind of silent love that makes you blush,


If I told you nothing with words but with the grace of a slight kiss,


Would you still question my loyal soul and open heart?


Light & Love to all my fellow romantics!

Later!

– Katness

Writer’s Block

Writer’s Block

Writer’s block is a condition, primarily associated with writing, in which an author loses the ability to produce new work, or experiences a creative slowdown.



I have zero idea why I haven’t been writing…



That’s a lie.

I’ve been busy… and by that, I mean procrastinating, waisting time, and having fun with life. Any of the following are to blame and/or have been taking up my usual writing time;

  • Most importantly- My new love

We ALL know I love LOVE, not only that… but how much time just evaporates when spending it with someone new and amazing… right?

  • Social Media

I WAS taking a break from it… Maybe I’ll write WHY later.. (it’s almost unbelivable…) So… another break has begun!

  • YouTube “Rabbit holes”

“Down the rabbit hole”, a metaphor for an entry into the unknown, the disorienting or the mentally deranging, from its use in Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland

It can really waste the Time, has made me late for things, neglect housework, and stay up in to the wee hours of the night. It also usually ends up directing to something sad or gross.

(an actual example)

Like, how did I go from DYI hair cuts to kids with rare illness? Or from Steve Harvey clips to disgusting black head removals?!

(Hahaha! Yeah right! I quit Social Media… must I STARVE?!)

  • My Family

I’m not even going to get in to that one…

Okay… so, that probably makes zero sense. Unless, of course, you’ve read “The Spoon Theory”. No?! …go ahead! I’ll wait.

I think that’s about it!


On that note… I gotta stop this roll I’m on!


Hope that was… something…

To Be Continued…

Light & Love, bitches!

– Katness

I Actually HAVE… or at Least had a Genius IQ

Unfortunately, My Mental Strength Dwindled Rather Than Strengthened



I was something of an unusual kid… I guess I’m an unusual adult as well.. but that’s not the point!

I was oddly smart, not like a savant or baby genius, just little things like teaching myself to read at two or drawing in perspective and showing distance with my Crayola’s. So, naturally, my mother thought I was amazing (well, I AM..) and tried to nurture that tiny sponge brain with the hopes I’d be a lawyer or something…




Sorry Mom!

I turned into a dreamer, artist, writer and lover of light and energy…



I just got (still get) easily distracted by sunshine, flowers, clouds, bugs and rather doodle than multiply.



It didn’t help that A.D.D. (not A.D.H.D… I just have the basic one…) was not well-known in the 80s. I probably could have benefited from Adderall a little bit.



So, basically, all my “standardised tests” were off the charts so they put me in “Little Kid Extra Smart Classes”, kinda like AP Everything for seven-year olds, it was sick.



I truly hated it! My “peers” were stuck up little competitive, judgemental, snots!



My family… was, um, not…



So, basically, I had a small problem – all my teacher’s reports sent home sounded like, “doesn’t pay attention”, “doesn’t participate”, ”needs to focus”, “incomplete work”, etc…



However, if one of those tests with the lil’ circles was put in front of me, I was on fire!


Then this one bitch teacher told me with quite stern frankness;

“This program isn’t for you. I think you would be better suited amongst peers more on your ‘level’.” (insert condescending old lady bitch voice)




sooooo I had to switch schools in like, 5th grade! It sucked! Royally!!



Especially since I was this five foot ten, broke ass, nerd, newbie who didn’t know a soul and had a teacher who was more scared of my new “peers” than I was!



Imagine if I kept getting super smart? Like, I’m pretty damn smart, but if I was some Ivy League Bitch, I would practicality be mutant! Possibly even President right now!




(Eh! I think I may actually BE too smart for that shit!)



I rather use my powers for good.. on a smaller scale…




I’ma leave you with my song obsession right now…

https://youtu.be/fKopy74weus

That’s all for now!

Later bitches!

Light & Love

– Katness

Writers never die…

Writers never die…

…but sometimes they lay uninspired thinking about the moonlight at 4:30 in the morning but it’s really two in the afternoon.

4d2745d4efb34432953ee7fd2202e0ac


While the alarm clock is going off in another room far away the music keeps drowning it out.

turntable-macro-wallpaper_2052132048


Obsessed with the passing of time and passing of friends.
Each keep ticking by and are gone forever.

medium_5370547706


Neither missed nor remembered for more than their worth. Nothing remembered. Nothing forgotten…


I may have been dreaming…

203806.jpg


Holding tightly onto your Rich name and other phrases of such words that hold on to so much of my past.
Remind me again, please?
Why I left those things behind that make my belly tighten and twist with your meer whisper?

lovers-2249913_640.jpg


Endlessly – you used to run rampant in my mind; wild and madly, free and enchanting.
Whirlwind wherever you went.
Chaos and anger were your solace.

8377cbfd7d76e0ea1763508e643386ba--hip-hop-dancers-hip-hop-dance-moves.jpg


Blindly throughout I followed around on your coattails, hoping you’d see my shadow…
But now, a different time, a different place. Can we even say we know each other?

tumblr_mvag2iW3H31sqnwn0o1_500.jpg


Long stares you give across the room are deep… beckoning.
Like a polar force, soft kisses echo between our lips making the only sound.

Scorpion-Lips


Gone. Again, he runs right through me…

tumblr_n3omd5Ar9l1sksxpmo1_500.gif


Once your movements were angry and harsh, but tonight you run fluid around me, circles and steps that make me spin! Into your arms I fall from grace as you catch me and look into my soul. For what? A clue? An answer? A reason to keep moving?

886341708c90352e8420b6d9fd1f2745--sexy-dance-just-dance.jpg


I blink and I’m alone again.

24d2243f77f52c2c98fd78397da7866d


He looks so peaceful. His lanky form – dancing in the dark, deafening music. Strong and refined…

1337f89c838985f1b18b3174edd8c100--hiphop-dance-photo-shoot-poses


…slowly, becoming scared of his growing lust, I hide – not well.
The rhythms are quickening his pace…
– spinning, he looses his past that was just barely hiding.

nap21


Alone, I was found – by a lack of wall that was jumped in blinding passion – trapped by the same wayward walls that sustained the majestic throes of two Scorpio lovers.

scorpio-new moon image.jpg


(…never again shall I see that stall quite like it was that night.)

Silence.

iStock_000076658531_Large.jpg


I may have been dreaming… or maybe a dream come true?
Or maybe, now, I’m trying to suicide the past with eternal sunshine.

in your shadow.JPG


Otherwise, I’m drowning in his isolated, cruel vanity…
Trying in vain to purify what once should never have been and never will again…

20161007140412994.Jpeg


Whoosh!!! That was a blast from the past! Hope ya liked it bitches!

Love & Light

– Kitty

50f5ac2ba51809240ca1f37b4062e166--tattoo-cat-cat-tattoos